When you can't find the words...

Hi, friends! I hope you are enjoying this beautiful day God has blessed us with.

When I write, it's therapeutic for me, and I'm coming here today, in hopes of finding healing.

Last week, I received shocking news that one of my dear friends passed away after a tragic accident. I think I'm still processing it and fighting the feelings of denial (and acceptance, for that matter). How?! Why?! I know I'm not supposed to question it because God knows best, even in the heartbreak, but this one I'm still struggling to process.

My friend, Kathryn, was a beautiful person, inside and out. She was my "big sis," and she affectionately called me her "lil' sis." We talked on the phone at least once a week, and man, we had some great belly laughs, as well as deep, meaningful, conversations. She always teased me because I tend to have a lucky streak, especially regarding contests/giveaways. Side note- she once talked me out of a grand piano giveaway because she was terrified that I would win (HA!).

Kathryn leaves behind her sweet parents, brothers, niece, nephews, multiple family members, and an infinite number of friends. I was blessed to call her a friend. Grief is hard. I can't even describe it. It's like, "What now?"

Here's the beauty though- she knew Jesus, and she is walking those streets of gold. As artistic and creative as my friend was, I wouldn't be surprised if she's up there right now painting and designing the angels' clothes, as well as cooking up some beautiful sunsets. She is better off than we are here, but I will miss her terribly!

I think my precious Nana (a beautiful, Godly lady) said it best, "We are not supposed to understand why things happen the way we do. We are supposed to trust God." Never in my 35 years of living on this earth have I lived those valuable words until about a week ago. It hurts, but do you know what hurts worse? Not knowing Jesus. I don't see how I could do that. Besides, Kathryn would be cracking up at me and fussing at me "big sis" style if she knew I was wallowing in grief and sadness all the time. Watch over us, sweet girl, and I'll see you later. I know it's not goodbye.

Friends, we are not promised tomorrow, but we have priceless promises from Jesus. Keep running the race and don't forget to live, smile, hug someone, and even say those beautiful words "I love you" to those who mean the most to you.

I hope you know how much you are loved. If you're grieving over the loss of someone special, please remember that God has you. Life truly is worth living because He lives.

Xoxo,

Amy